External Memo SPTI672

Submitted by Krati Shukla
on March 01, 2020

** QUANTUM SHORTS 2019/2020: HONOURABLE MENTION

Internal Memo SPDEPT13858

Stop stealing my food.

Ganesh


Internal Memo SPDEPT94158

Please, Don’t take breaks at the same time. Someone needs to be present on the observation deck at all times. Remaking the universe takes up a lot of time and resources. You were no doubt made aware of the importance of observation during your training. Things used to be so simple when I started as a system designer, we did not have the gall to disobey our bosses but kids these days are just plain rude. The universe must be under strict observation at all times.

Brahma

Head(s) of the Universal Operations


Internal Memo SPDEPT48277

Has anyone seen my keys?

Kuber


Internal Memo SPDEPT2014278

Please don’t use internal memos for personal communication.

Thank you

Moderator


Internal Memo SPDEPT149335

I am telling you again, it doesn’t matter if it’s Thursday. Someone needs to be on the observation deck at all times. I need to reboot the Universe almost every Thursday. It’s getting annoying. Fast forwarding the evolution of the universe has raised the uncertainty factor in the universe. We are getting complaints from our clients about how in-universe measurements are not what they used to be.

Brahma

Head(s) of the Universal Operations


Internal Memo SPDEPT1277

My mother makes lunch for me and I don’t even get to eat it.

Ganesh


Internal Memo SPDEPT87197

I think your brother stole your keys.

Dave


Internal Memo SPDEPT89537

Please don’t use internal memos for personal communication.

Thank you

Moderator


Internal Memo SPDEPT389271

Who sanctioned life on the new random number generators, Life has made the incoming data terrible. I ask permission to use the Extinction protocol.

Shiv

Head of Data Processing 


Internal Memo SPDEPT1227903

Use proper channels for communication. Internal memos are only for important company-wide announcements.

Thank you

Moderator


Internal Memo SPDEPT4739898

They are not the new random generators, they are a part of the new experiment we are running with the Olympians. This Universe is not only for you to mine data from. Things don’t work here according to you. This is first and foremost a scientific enterprise. We are here to expand our current knowledge.

Saraswati

Head of Research and development.


Internal Memo SPDEPT072919

I have extra tickets for the movies. Contact me if interested

Dave


Internal Memo SPDEPT4739

Sorry to all the folks interested,I have given away the tickets.

Dave


Internal Memo SPDEPT2075

DON’T USE MEMOS FOR PERSONAL COMMUNICATION.

Moderator


Internal Memo SPDEPT037100

IF THIS UNIVERSE COLLAPSES AGAIN, I WILL HAVE ALL OF YOUR HEADS.

Brahma

Head(s) of this Universe


Internal Memo SPDEPT48910

If they are not the new random number generators why are we wasting precious internal fusion batteries on them? More importantly, where are the new random number generators I was promised.

Shiv

Head of Data Processing 


Internal Memo SPDEPT9930943

This is not a place to fight or to question budget and resource allocation for different projects. If you have any problems, please go to the concerned authorities.

Thank you

Moderator


Internal Memo SPDEPT98002795

Balance Patch 6.7.2000

The new balance patch is online. We are grateful to our beta testers and also to anyone who gave suggestions in the previous version. This balance patch is for both for internal company users and also for our clients.

What’s New

  • Fixed Bugs and Errors.
  • We have reconfigured dead batteries to be a random number generator. They will leak information now. This also solves the problem of in-universe garbage.
  • FIxed the specific problem some users had with the uncertainty factor.

Thank you

The Developers


Internal Memo SPDEPT810975

Finally, someone used Internal memos correctly.

Moderator


Internal Memo SPDEPT2930125

The experiment was completed successfully. Now we can finally say we know how suspensions move in narrow tubes when subject to temperature difference. The pre-print of the paper will be avaiable soon.

Saraswati

Head of Research and Development.


Internal Memo SPDEPT489104739

Finally, a new random number generator.

Shiv

Head of Data Processing


Internal Memo SPDEPT0125993

Where can I get better employees? 

Brahma

Head(s) of this Universeo little girls, and happily married.


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